Transparency & Secrecy: What Role Do They Play in Relationships?

Hi all,

Last week, I introduced you to Tahil Gesyuk, an amazing coach who I have had the privilege of getting to know recently. Here is his next post in the series - enjoy!

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What's all this buzz about "open relationships"?
Open relating is a foundation in a plethora of alternative relationship styles outside of monogamy. There is a silent and sometimes not so quiet revolution going on around the old paradigm of monogamy. ?Some people are in quiet revolt through covert affairs. Others are more up front and out of the proverbial closet huddling in unified fronts scrambling for identity that challenges the status quo. The function that is paramount in this revolution is the distinction between healthy transparency/secrecy and unhealthy transparency/secrecy!

What is the distinction between healthy and unhealthy secrecy? ?

There is a natural secrecy that is developed in kids to maintain autonomy and transparency to themselves. Before anyone tells us to be private and or not share something, we develop a natural privacy (a natural instinct to maturate what we don?t know.)?

Unhealthy secrecy is a locked up expression held in longer then the maturation state needed for self inquiry and understanding in healthy secrecy. Some things grow in the dark. Our secrecy is our way of pausing into integrating and understanding ourselves so that we can express in the most authentic matter what represents our relationship to ourselves.?

In unhealthy secrecy, a "lockdown" occurs either because a.) We are caught in a trauma lock that perpetually deems it unsafe to ever express what we perceive or/and b.) The environment is actually not safe to express what needs to be expressed. ?

If one of my clients reveal that they are having an affair, this is what we work with. ?It is about understanding their relationship to secrecy. Often it has to do with establishing dignified no?s (saying "no" when you actually mean "no" instead of a "yes"). Often relationships with people saying "yes" when they mean "no" end up in private affairs of some kind that their partner has no clue about. It could be with food, people, or some other excursion to have a private moment to find themselves. If you are having an affair or interludes of some kind in private that your partner doesn?t know about, I would get a greater understanding of trauma locks you might be holding in your body. As well as practice authentic no?s in your intimate relationships

What is a trauma lock?
Our traumas are found in our bodies. They are constantly trying to find a way of expressing what has been locked in our cells and nerves of our bodies to be in a place of comfort and deep resonate of the environment we are in.?

Trauma is a natural expression of our body to overwhelm of some kind. For example if you were in healthy function of trauma you would have full expression to an overwhelming event. Imagine a deer being pounced by a predator (terrifyingly overwhelming). The deer would have a sudden impulse to run for its life (Flight). If it managed to run away it would go into a full body shiver and shake off the terror it just went through (Disassociation). The predator, when hearing a noise in the woods, would get very still identifying if their life was in danger or food was around the corner (Freeze) and when noticing the deer would have a sudden grip on survival like his life depended on it (Fight).?

The challenge is our humanity and conditioned responses of culture create a delayed response. Imagine little Johnny crossing the street and a car running out of control is coming right at him. Johnny freezes like a deer in headlights. Mom notices Johnny and yanks him hard away from the approaching car. Johnny falls, skins his knee and starts shaking and crying uncontrollably. Mom, typically from years of suppressed trauma responses herself, lifts Johnny up brushing him off, ?You're OK. Stop crying, brave boys don?t cry. Everything is fine honey, mommy is late we need to get going!? Years later when the dots line up and he approaches busy intersections they make Johnny shake uncontrollably, people around him wonder what is wrong with him, and the trauma keeps getting buried deep into his nerves and cells. This is how trauma locks occur, they reveal a frozen moment in time of a traumatic event waiting to be released!

What is the distinction between healthy transparency and unhealthy transparency?
Healthy transparency is where people see us from the inside out. It is how we came into this world exposed, innocent, and fully expressed in our multitude of needs! It is often our most courageous act because it exposes us to potential bias and ridicule of our most tender and vulnerable parts that we typically keep safe so that others can?t do us harm.?

As children this is a function that most of us knew well. In fact most adults squirm and wince at the display of transparency from children. Imagine little Johnny asking in a voice that is loud enough for people to hear, ?Why is that lady fat?? or ?That man was so mean to you mommy. Why did you kiss him?? There are these moments of sincerity and truth as we see them as kids before we learn how to censor.?

If we had healthy modeling, we would be acknowledged for what we shared (maintaining our relationship to our authentic voice that represents us to the world). We would have been modeled how to have bridges of empathy and compassion for others. However, because our parents and mentorship around our upbringing want to keep us safe and acclimated to our environment, they indoctrinate us in the ways of secrecy, setting up all sorts of contracts within us about what is appropriate and what is not.?

Often the secrecy that is passed down to us makes it challenging to be transparent to ourselves. As we start to lack confidence in our own transparency, a unhealthy kind of transparency is born! We lose natural timing with it. Our sharing comes out green from coming out to soon or spoiled from being locked up for so long. If it comes out too soon we tend to not have the authorship of it, yet we get seduced by the praise or ridicule of others.?

In listening to a transparent share of something green you support it like you would a preemie. You can create a kind of incubation outside the womb for the sharing and model healthy privacy about the matter by keeping it to yourself and encouraging the sharer to do the same. If the transparency comes out spoiled, a byproduct of unhealthy secrecy, a treasure-trove of backed up emotions (emotions = energy in motion) can be vented.?

To be able to support the sharer, the listener must have a capacity to ground the shares that have a lot of backed up energy, much like a lightening rod grounding a strong electrical current. The sharer, sharing something that has been held in too long, has many bursts of emotional tsunamis and storms ready to burst forth at a moment?s notice. (I often recommend professional support around uncovering long held back expressions that have been locked for decades.)?

It is important to know your capacity and limits for the support and empathetic ear you give! Yet the support of encouragement by being a safe person to have the sharer open up something that has been locked up for a long time is invaluable.

How do I harness the understanding of healthy transparency in an open relationship?
If you are in non-monogamous relating it is important to understand your relationship to transparency because typically this is more emphasized and leads to many misunderstandings. Often this has to do with saying more authentic yes's. ?Many of the challenges that people run into in alternative relating is saying "yes" when they really mean "no."? As your yes's get more authentic, your transparency will become more natural and well-timed rather than premature, leaving you more vulnerable in a way that often has you feel you need to catch up to yourself.

No matter what style of relating you choose, it is healthy to question assumptions regarding how we ?have? to or ?ought? to relate. The less assumptions we have the more room we have to create the model of relating that works for us with someone we deeply care about. The more open in our relating we will be, creating greater depths and intimacy.

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Tahil has a passion for bringing love, connection,and health into people?s lives. With over 15 solid years of coaching experience, he is committed to bringing forth the radiance in each human being. As the director of the Intimacy Forum, Tahil Gesyuk is dedicated to teaching you the language of creating extraordinary relationships that impact the world in a loving and effective way.

The Intimacy Forum produces events and trainings around affection and connection, bringing a unique synthesis of full sensory and full body learning around *Heart-intimacy*, connection and affection.

For more info, please visit our website: http://www.intimacyforumtraining.com?

Source: http://rachelgrantcoaching.blogspot.com/2012/10/transparency-secrecy-what-role-do-they.html

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Couple of weekly portions of oily fish can help ward off stroke; But fish oil supplements don't have the same effect, study finds

ScienceDaily (Oct. 30, 2012) ? Eating at least two servings of oily fish a week is moderately but significantly associated with a reduced risk of stroke, finds a study published on the British Medical Journal website.

But taking fish oil supplements doesn't seem to have the same effect, say the researchers.

Regular consumption of fish and long chain omega 3 fatty acids has been linked with a reduced risk of coronary heart disease and current guidelines recommend eating at least two portions of fish a week, preferably oily fish like mackerel and sardines. But evidence supporting a similar benefit for stroke remains unclear.

So an international team of researchers, led by Dr. Rajiv Chowdhury at Cambridge University and Professor Oscar H. Franco at Erasmus MC Rotterdam, analysed the results of 38 studies to help clarify the association between fish consumption and risk of stroke or mini-stroke (transient ischaemic attack or TIA). Collectively, these conditions are known as cerebrovascular disease.

The 38 studies involved nearly 800,000 individuals in 15 countries and included patients with established cardiovascular disease (secondary prevention studies) as well as lower risk people without the disease (primary prevention studies). Differences in study quality were taken into account to identify and minimise bias.

Fish and long chain omega 3 fatty acid consumption was assessed using dietary questionnaires, identifying markers of omega 3 fats in the blood, and recording use of fish oil supplements. A total of 34,817 cerebrovascular events were recorded during the studies.

After adjusting for several risk factors, participants eating two to four servings a week had a moderate but significant 6% lower risk of cerebrovascular disease compared with those eating one or fewer servings of fish a week, while participants eating five or more servings a week had a 12% lower risk.

An increment of two servings per week of any fish was associated with a 4% reduced risk of cerebrovascular disease. In contrast, levels of omega 3 fats in the blood and fish oil supplements were not significantly associated with a reduced risk.

Several reasons could explain the beneficial impact of eating fish on vascular health, say the authors. For example, it may be due to interactions between a wide range of nutrients, like vitamins and essential amino acids, commonly found in fish. Alternatively, eating more fish may lead to a reduction in other foods, like red meat, that are detrimental to vascular health. Or higher fish intake may simply be an indicator of a generally healthier diet or higher socioeconomic status, both associated with better vascular health.

The differences seen between white and oily fish may be explained by the way they are typically cooked (white fish is generally battered and deep fried, adding potentially damaging fats).

Although there's a possibility that some other unmeasured (confounding) factor may explain their results, the authors conclude that "they reinforce a potentially modest beneficial role of fish intake in the cause of cerebrovascular disease."

In addition, they say their findings are in line with current dietary guidelines that encourage fish consumption for all; and intake of fish oils to people with pre-existing or at high risk of heart disease. They also support the view that future nutritional guidelines should be principally "food based."

In an accompanying editorial, authors from the Division of Human Nutrition at Wageningen University suggest that although it is "reasonable" to advise patients that eating one or two portions of fish per week could reduce the risk of coronary heart disease and stroke, any benefit of long chain omega 3 fatty acid supplementation is likely to be small. They say it is possible, however, that patients with additional risk factors such as diabetes may benefit.

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Story Source:

The above story is reprinted from materials provided by BMJ-British Medical Journal, via EurekAlert!, a service of AAAS.

Note: Materials may be edited for content and length. For further information, please contact the source cited above.

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Note: If no author is given, the source is cited instead.

Disclaimer: This article is not intended to provide medical advice, diagnosis or treatment. Views expressed here do not necessarily reflect those of ScienceDaily or its staff.

Source: http://feeds.sciencedaily.com/~r/sciencedaily/~3/MgWm_JSWvrc/121030210349.htm

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Subaru Challenge 2012 winners' families share all - Car challenge

The Subaru Challenge is back and in it's eleventh year! Yes the contestants are sweating it out in hopes of winning but they are not alone. The sheer support from their families is nothing short of inspirational. Read about sacrificial family love here...

Photo Credit: Kelvin Koo

The?Subaru Challenge 2012 ? The Asian Face-Off this year, like all other years, is an avenue showcasing extraordinary human willpower. 400 participants took place at?Ngee Ann City?s Civic Plaza but there was only one winner? Gan Yu Shen. The ultimate prize worth all the sweat and tears? A?Subaru XV 1.6 worth $80,800 (no COE)!

This year 10 countries are involved:?Philippines, Cambodia, Vietnam, Thailand, China, Taiwan, Indonesia, Malaysia, Hong Kong and of course Singapore.

Little pleasures in life

It?s the simple things like drink breaks that you treasure during these ?testing? times. Contestants are given four breaks per day: 1am, 7am, 1pm and 7pm. They can use these short five-minute breaks to either eat, drink get a quick massage or use the toilet?perhaps all at once if possible. This is the ultimate test of human endurance.?The last two standing were Singaporeans, Gan Yu Shen (Tholmas), 42, software engineer and runner up ?G Jai Shanker, ?47, catering officer. This shows us that Singaporeans are still the most resilient and kiasu. They deserve the win.

Family love and support

Tilani Family

More inspirational than the almost super-human contestants was the sheer dedication and support shown by family members of the contestants. Though there was only one winner?most walked away winners knowing how loved they are by family. One such family was the exemplary Tilani family.

Contestant Haresh Tilani, 28, bowed out of the competition 74 hours in but he went home still a winner! His family was by his side from the get go with an uncle and aunt coming down from Kuala Lumpur, cousins rushing immediately over after exams and a brother who went to work at 6:30am just to support him for an hour before work, during lunch and after work. That?s not all, they even camped out and spent the night at the venue making sure that Haresh would not fall asleep. They also Googled standing positions for him and played games with him to keep him entertained.

Haresh?s mother Ratni shared: ?The whole competition was emotionally draining and seeing our son go through this the third time. He was the runner up last year. The challenge is not something we as parents look forward to. We are very proud of him but it hurts to see him in pain. To us he is already a winner.?

Shanker Family

Another family, there till the very end, was the wife and cousin of Jai Shanker the runner up winner. Fuji, Jai?s wife of six years has been there every single day, bringing their 5-year-old daughter Nandii to support her daddy. Fuji shared: ?Every break time, I am here to feed him, massage him and take care of him. It?s been constant support from the very start even before my husband qualified. I helped make the calls to the radio station too.?

Fuji Wahyuni (wife of Mr Shanker) Ganga (cousin)

At the end of the day we are rich not because of wealth but also because of the warm family support we have?knowing that every step of the way, through thick, thin and every possible challenge?they are right there with unwavering faith in us. A very comforting and motivating thought that can drive us to succeed.

Congratulations to all the contestants of the Subaru Challenge 2012!

Winner Gan Yu Shen (Tholmas)

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Tell us what you're thinking...

Source: http://sg.theasianparent.com/subaru-2012-winners-families-share-all/

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Full Moon 'Fright Night': Watch the Hunter's Moon Live Online Tonight

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Broadway shuts down for Tuesday as storm whirls

NEW YORK (AP) ? Broadway's 40 theaters were dark Monday and producers chose to keep them closed Tuesday as well as Hurricane Sandy took aim at New York City.

The Broadway League on Monday afternoon extended the cancelations of such shows as "The Book of Mormon," ''Once" and "Mama Mia!" for another day, citing safety precautions and the suspension of the city's public transport system.

Charlotte St. Martin, head of the league, expects normal operations to resume Wednesday morning.

Refunds will be made available from the point of purchase. Most Broadway shows were already dark on Monday night, but the loss of Tuesday's revenue will hurt.

It was the most disruptive storm for the theater community since Hurricane Irene in 2011 prompted cancelations of weekend matinee and evening performances.

Source: http://news.yahoo.com/broadway-shuts-down-tuesday-storm-whirls-215601014.html

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Same-sex kiss steals spotlight at French protest against gay parenting

Anti-gay parenting activists in Marseille France were not prepared for what transpired when two women interrupted their protest against same-sex parenting with a passionate kiss - which was snapped by a photographer that immediately went viral. They aren't lesbians but the women justify the kiss as ?a gesture of solidarity, pure and simple.?

The anti-gay parenting demonstrators were stunned. Some of the protesters sat, open-mouthed and others turned their heads away.

The kiss was captured by an AFP photographer and posted online by French LGBT magazine T?tu.fr and BuzzFeed.com, after which it went viral on Twitter.

One of the women in the picture, Julia Pistolesi (right), described the moment on Twitter as ?full of emotion,? and thanked those who had shared the image, adding that ?homophobes in Marseille can p*** off!?

[via FRANCE 24]

Source: http://www.proudparenting.com/node/17132

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Renewal Account Executive, Small Business-OR - Insurance Sales ...

This position is responsible for the sale of renewals for groups of 2-50 eligible subscribers. The position is responsible for retaining all small business customers through exceptional service and through development of strong relationships with customers, general agents and brokers.

? At least 51% of the time must be spent on taking full responsibility on the sale of 2-50 renewals for which he/she is assigned, including negotiating with Underwriting, positioning the renewal with the broker, and closing the sale.

? Renews existing business (2-50 life segment) and sells new business to existing accounts (NBEA)

? Supports sales efforts targeted at potential new and renewal accounts; collaborate with Account Executive/Broker Account Executive to determine appropriate product(s) to position to brokers/customers

? Conducts end to end customer experience which will include an organized series of proactive touch points direct to client/group.

? Use designated systems to track and report activity (i.e. Atlas, Rosetta, Solaris, etc).

? Leads, directs and conducts enrollment/benefit meetings and health fairs for assigned business.

? Trains and consults with brokers and employers on enrollment, benefits and electronic service processes

? Influences, demonstrates and trains employer groups about UnitedHealthcare's online electronic services, tools, and technologies

? Coaches and supports Account Consultants in managing: 1) Timeliness and quality of support provided to AEs, management, customers, and brokers 2) number and quality of customer/broker training sessions delivered on eServices and business impact resulting from that training.

? Promotes and supports the SB service model

? Participates in special projects as requested by management

? Oversees analysis and identification of root causes of complex service issues for brokers and customers. Directs dedicated functional experts (billing, customer service, claims, etc.) on corrective action steps to ensure end to end resolution of the issue.

? College degree or equivalent work experience in the managed health care industry

? Minimum 3-5 years industry experience (preferably in benefit enrollment with account management or new business sales strongly preferred in a managed health care industry)

? Demonstrated relationship management skills

? Superior customer service skills including a sense of urgency and ownership for resolving client issues

? Strong problem solving and organizational skill

? Requires underwriting, financial and analytical skills.

? Excellent communication (written and verbal) and listening skills

? Excellent group presentation and training skills

? Demonstrated knowledge of benefits

? State Life and Health Insurance License required

? Maintains a valid driver?s license

Travel as required

UnitedHealthcare Employer & Individual is part of the family of companies that make UnitedHealth Group one of the leaders across most major segments of the US health care system.

When you work with UnitedHealthcare Employer & Individual, what you do matters. It's that simple...and it's that challenging.

In providing consumer-oriented health benefit plans to millions of people, our goal is to create higher quality care, lower costs and greater access to health care. Join us and you will be empowered to achieve new levels of excellence and make a profound and personal impact as you contribute to new innovations in a vital and complex system.

Regardless of your role at UnitedHealthcare Employer & Individual, the support you feel all around you will enable you to do what you do with energy, integrity, and confidence. So take the first step in what is sure to be a fast paced and highly diversified career.

Diversity creates a healthier atmosphere: equal opportunity employer M/F/D/V

UnitedHealth Group is a drug-free workplace. Candidates are required to pass a drug test before beginning employment. In addition, employees in certain positions are subject to random drug testing.

Requisition #: 394270

Source: http://jobs.insurancesalesweb.com/c/job.cfm?site_id=1636&jb=11253654

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Stock markets closed as storm hobbles New York

NEW YORK (Reuters) - U.S. stock and options markets will be closed on Monday, and possibly Tuesday, as regulators, exchanges and brokers worry about the integrity of markets and the safety of employees in the face of Hurricane Sandy.

Market participants and regulators decided late on Sunday to shut the market, reversing a plan to keep electronic trading going on Monday. Bond markets will remain open, but will close at noon, a trade group said.

The decision to close stock and options markets came after regulators, exchanges, and dealers discussed the unknowns that would have been tested if the markets opened on Monday, three sources familiar with the situation said.

For example, NYSE Euronext's New York Stock Exchange had initially planned to shut its physical trading floor, which would have meant operating as an all-electronic exchange for the first time.

The decision to shut down the stock markets came after Wall Street had prepared to open for business on Monday with limited staffing after a mass transit shut-down in New York, booking hotel rooms for key employees and leaning on offices in other cities.

Wall Street banks, including Goldman Sachs Group Inc and Citigroup Inc, activated their emergency plans, which many firms put in place after the September 11, 2001, attacks. It was not immediately clear if those plans had also changed.

Some bank offices in lower Manhattan's Financial District are in evacuation zones and most non-critical staff and employees who don't rely on high-speed systems, including some investment bankers, were asked to work from home.

"SUPER STORM"

The storm is expected to slam into the U.S. East Coast on Monday night, bringing torrential rain, high wind, severe flooding and power outages. The rare "super storm" - created by an Arctic jet stream wrapping itself around a tropical storm - could be the biggest to hit the U.S. mainland, forecasters said.

The scramble started early as the threat of the storm forced the New York mass transit system to shut down on Sunday evening, leaving tens of thousands of employees stuck at home.

About 8.5 million commuters use the Metropolitan Transit Authority's transit lines daily, meaning most Wall Street employees would be unable to get to work. New York City Mayor Michael Bloomberg also closed public schools and ordered an evacuation of 375,000 people in coastal areas, including downtown offices of banks such as Citigroup.

The major exchanges and most big trading firms have alternate trading facilities if downtown Manhattan is inaccessible, but the storm's wide path may affect a number of sites in the New York metropolitan area. Authorities have warned of possible widespread power outages that could last for days.

Wall Street was spared the worst of Hurricane Irene in August last year. Officials had feared Hurricane Irene would flood lower Manhattan and cripple business in the world's financial capital, but the flooding was minor and there were no major disruptions at the exchanges.

All of the U.S. exchanges, as well as major broker-dealers, and regulators were involved in the decision to close the markets, according to several executives at exchanges and financial firms.

The U.S. markets have seen three high-profile snafus this year, beginning with the failed IPO of BATS Global Markets, the No. 3 U.S. equities exchange, on its own exchange; Facebook Inc's botched markets debut on Nasdaq's exchange; and a software glitch that cost trading firm Knight Capital well over $400 million, nearly forcing it into bankruptcy.

BOND MARKETS

The Securities Industry and Financial Markets Association said earlier on Sunday it is recommending an early close of noon EDT on Monday for the trading of U.S. dollar-denominated, fixed-income securities. It said its member firms should decide for themselves whether their fixed-income departments remain open for trading.

The foreign exchange market's activity generally follows the fixed income markets.

The New York Federal Reserve has calls scheduled for early Monday morning with dealers to see what each dealer is doing to cope with the storm, and will modify its market activities accordingly.

In Washington, the Commerce Department said it would post its report on personal income and spending for September on its website at 8:30 a.m. as scheduled, even though the federal government was closed.

The Federal Reserve said it would postpone its regularly scheduled releases, including its weekly report on selected interest rates and daily commercial paper data. The Fed said it would release the data when federal offices in the Washington area reopened.

CME Group Inc said it will be closing its U.S. equity index futures and equity index options on futures markets on the trading floor and on CME Globex at 8:15 a.m., Central Time, on Monday. All other CME Group futures and options on futures markets will remain open.

IntercontinentalExchange Inc said trading in the ICE Futures Russell equity index futures and options will close early, at 9:15 a.m. Eastern Time on Monday. It said ICE Clear Credit will close at noon Eastern Time on Monday, with the U.S. fixed income markets. It said all other ICE markets and clearing houses will remain open and follow regular market hours.

WORK FROM HOME

Goldman, whose office in lower Manhattan is in one of the areas to be evacuated, told employees earlier on Sunday that it would open for business, with some staff working from offices in Greenwich, Connecticut, and in Princeton, New Jersey. It also plans to use teams in London and other locations around the world for support.

Citigroup, which has three buildings in the evacuation zone, said "non-critical personnel should invoke their work-from-home strategies."

JPMorgan Chase & Co said its buildings were still open Monday and the bank was planning to be fully operational, using resources in the United States, Europe and Asia.

For many investment bankers and private equity executives, working from home will make the most sense. Blackstone Group planned to close its office on Monday.

Hurricane Sandy also led to some events being canceled or postponed. Citigroup Prime Brokerage postponed a hedge fund event that had been scheduled for Tuesday.

(Reporting by John McCrank, David Gaffen, Caroline Humer, David Henry, Charles Mikolajczak, Richard Leong, Edward Krudy, Lauren LaCapra, Dan Wilchins and Rick Rothacker; Editing by Paritosh Bansal, Jennifer Merritt, Tiffany Wu, Maureen Bavdek, Dale Hudson, Gary Crosse and Robert Birsel)

Source: http://news.yahoo.com/stock-markets-closed-monday-storm-hobbles-york-042724131--sector.html

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The case for the 8GB Nexus 4

Why spend an extra $50 and still not have enough space on your smartphone when it comes with Google's cloud? 

When you visit Google's Nexus 4 page and click on the "Shop now" link, it takes you straight to the 8GB version. (Go straight from the Play Store and you get 16GB. Go figure.) There's a reason for this, they want you to see you can buy the smartphone with the best specs available for (a whole dollar) under $300. That puts the Nexus 4 squarely into the impulse buy realm, and serves as a notice to other people selling phones for a whole lot more. It's $400 dollars cheaper than the closest competitor, and that means something.

Read on.

read more

Source: http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/androidcentral/~3/DQbTqbLggM8/story01.htm

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Presidential race still virtually even: Reuters/Ipsos poll

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The Backlash About Online Dating: Can It Be Just The Site You Are ...

When friends find out that I am on an online dating site, they invariably groan and wonder why. I have had some success in the past but I have also had my share of dates that turned out to be nothing more than comedy gold. Dates that I have reconstructed for giggling/horrified friends like a comedian mining the very best material ever. If you have ever considered signing up for a dating site, you have to suspend some of your preconceptions and in part, leave your ego at the door.

There are literally thousands of these sites, including the general population ones right down to the very narrow spectrum types. The more narrowly defined, the easier to find the right match, at least in theory. There are paid sites and there are free sites. And they all claim that they alone are the very best at finding your true love. There are even sites for married people who are looking to start an affair. There is no end to the type of dating site that you might find once you start looking.

If you are new to this style of dating, it is best to go with a free site and create a profile. Be as honest as possible and post your kindest picture even if you personally loathe it. Trust me, there is nothing that has not floated past the screens of these dating site moderators. In fact, and I mean no disrespect at all, but I did spot a lovely woman who had on what looked like a faded housecoat and a clearly visible oxygen tube under the headline "only as old as you feel". Further down in her profile, she mentioned a real zest for life and the desire to "get out and do things". Obviously, that was the picture that this lady was most comfortable with, so you should follow suit and use what makes you happiest. Let the real you shine through.

Be realistic with your expectations and your desires but be careful of how you word them. If you say you want to be married, many men will add the words "right now" automatically. If you say that you are just looking for dating for now, some will see that as an invitation to try to wine and dine you and then rush you to something physical. Some things need to be more spelled out.

Will you find your knight in shining armor or your perfect princess? Not necessarily but you might find someone who is either the one or someone who could be at least, in the top five.

Source: http://www.streetarticles.com/relationships/the-backlash-about-online-dating-can-it-be-just-the-site-you-are-using

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'Crazy for You' doesn't let technical difficulties steal the spotlight ...

Take a look at some of today?s most successful Broadway shows. What do you notice?

Photo by Gloria So, staff photographer.

If you look closely, you?ll find something interesting on the Great White Way. The musicals of the 21st century are quirky. Their storylines are unorthodox. Stages are filled with wicked witches, Mormon missionaries and New York City newsies. Gone are the days of what some may consider the traditional, old-fashioned musicals.

That is, unless you take in a performance of ?Crazy for You,? running in McCrary Theatre until Nov. 3.

With music and lyrics by George and Ira Gershwin and a book by Ken Ludwig, ?Crazy for You? is a classic piece of theater. The play follows Bobby Child (senior Michael Callahan), a young banker whose real life ambition is to become a dancer. But in order to convince his mother that he is capable of accomplishing things in his adult life, he agrees to travel to Deadrock, Nev., where he will foreclose on a rundown theater. Naturally, Bobby is knocked off course by Deadrock beauty Polly Baker (senior Virginia Claire Mason), who wishes she could save the beloved theater before the bank takes it away. Bobby agrees to help Polly put on a hit show, leading them both on an interesting road to opening night.

There are certain built-in expectations for productions put on by Elon University?s Department of Performing Arts. In recent years, the department?s full-length plays have been masterpieces, full of color and bombast and unparalleled talent.

And while all of those same qualities are present in ?Crazy for You,? they are admittedly a bit muted throughout the production.

Opening night of the musical fell just short of what the department is capable of, largely due to a number of technical difficulties. Throughout most of Act One, Callahan performed his major musical numbers without the help of a working mic. Later in the show, when Callahan is required to wear a fake beard as part of a disguise, the beard repeatedly fell off. The cast didn?t miss a beat, but the effect was certainly lost, and awkwardly at that. Most of the evening?s mishaps, while an inevitable part of live theater, marred an otherwise awe-inspiring performance.

Check out additional photos from ?Crazy for You? at Elon.

The show will return Nov. 1-3 at 7:30 p.m. each night in McCrary Theatre.

But if you do make ?Crazy for You? a part of your weekend activities, you won?t remember the technical difficulties. You won?t remember the wigs that fell off heads, or the dance moves that were missed.

You?ll remember the impeccable dancing, which includes several tap numbers that border on dizzying in their complexity. You?ll remember the colors and the characters. You?ll remember Mason?s beautifully pure performance of ?Someone to Watch Over Me.? You?ll remember the dynamite supporting cast, including senior Ben Redding in a truly hysterical turn as the owner of Deadrock?s saloon. You?ll remember the joy with which this production leaves you, for it?s impossible not to crack a smile amid all the physical comedy and genuinely funny one-liners.

?Crazy for You? is not a perfect show by any means, and it doesn?t shine as bright as some of the Department of Performing Arts? previous productions. But there is something special about it that?s hard to forget.

And even if the production?s technical difficulties do crop up again and again during the show?s run, it?s nothing a little tap dancing can?t fix.

Crazy for You, Department of Performing Arts, stage review

About Rebecca Iannucci

Rebecca Iannucci is the Arts & Entertainment Editor for The Pendulum. She is a print and online journalism major from Nutley, N.J. She has previously worked with the organization as a Copy Editor and reporter. View all posts by Rebecca Iannucci ?

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Source: http://elonpendulum.com/2012/10/crazy-for-you-doesnt-let-technical-difficulties-steal-the-spotlight/

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Presidential race buffets fight for Senate control

WASHINGTON (AP) ? The party that runs the Senate next year may be decided by how well President Barack Obama and Mitt Romney do in toss-up states like Nevada, Ohio, Virginia and Wisconsin, where ballots feature parallel Senate races about as tight as the presidential contest.

The mammoth campaign organizations built by Obama and Romney, his Republican challenger, are focusing their voter registration and turnout efforts in those four states and a handful of other presidential battlegrounds. Congressional candidates there are latching onto the help that can come from the larger, better-funded presidential campaigns.

In Nevada, Democratic Rep. Shelley Berkley is hoping to buttress her challenge to Republican Sen. Dean Heller with the Obama campaign's efforts to register Hispanic voters. In Virginia, the GOP has operated 29 offices across the state combining the operations of Romney, Senate candidate George Allen and House candidates.

Democrats control the Senate 53-47, including two independents who vote with them. Of the 33 seats up for grabs on Election Day, a dozen are considered competitive, largely in the West and Midwest. Republicans need a net pickup of four seats to take control if Obama is re-elected, three if Romney wins.

Both sides are measuring the impact of the presidential race at a time when spending on congressional races ? especially by outside groups ? is mushrooming.

In the House, Democrats have been hoping that a strong Election Day performance by Obama could lift their candidates, especially in states he is expected to win easily like New York, Illinois and California. They may make some gains but seem unlikely to pick up 25 seats they need to wrest House control from the GOP. Only about 60 seats are considered competitive in the 435-member House.

"There's no question we pick up seats in direct correlation to the president's coattails," said Rep. Steve Israel, D-N.Y., who heads the House Democratic campaign organization.

Rep. Greg Walden, R-Ore., deputy chairman of the House GOP's political operation, concedes that a strong Obama showing would likeliest strengthen the Democratic vote in urban areas, where Republicans have few seats anyway. Republicans hope to limit Democratic pickups by winning seats of their own in North Carolina, Arkansas, Indiana and even Massachusetts.

"It helps us if Romney is doing better," especially in rural and suburban areas where many GOP lawmakers come from, Walden said. "And Governor Romney is doing much better" than he was earlier in the campaign, said Walden.

In Ohio, Republican challenger Josh Mandel is hoping for a late surge by Romney that might also lift him past Democratic Sen. Sherrod Brown. Polls show Brown, who has a liberal pro-labor voting record, consistently leading Mandel and doing better in the state than Obama, whose advantage in the pivotal state has narrowed.

On Friday, the U.S. Chamber of Commerce reported spending $2.3 million for TV and radio ads to help Mandel, making Brown one of the business lobby's top targets.

"If Romney could keep it close, Mandel's going to be in the Senate," said Scott Reed, a top political strategist for the chamber.

In a debate last week, Mandel hammered his rival for supporting Obama's health care overhaul and for driving up the national debt with efforts such as the federal auto rescue. Brown made no apologies, ticking off benefits he said each law brought to average Ohioans.

"I'm proud of that because now more than a million Ohio seniors now get free checkups," he said of his support for the health care law.

In wide-open Virginia, the presidential race's impact on the Senate contest may be tempered by the near universal name recognition of the two Senate rivals. Republican George Allen and Democrat Tim Kaine are former recent governors, and the $20 million the two have combined to spend so far makes their contest one of the nation's most expensive, according to the nonpartisan Center for Responsive Politics.

"Headwinds will largely come from the presidential, but because name identification is so high for both Governor Allen and Governor Kaine, these races will be nearly mirroring each other," said Pete Snyder, chairman of the GOP's coordinated presidential and congressional campaigns in the state.

Ticket-splitting is as much as factor in some Senate races as coattails. Democratic Sen. Joe Manchin is heading toward re-election in West Virginia and there are tight Senate races in Arizona, Indiana and North Dakota, though Romney seems certain to win all four states.

Obama is sure to win Connecticut, yet professional wrestling magnate Linda McMahon, a Republican, is running a well-financed and strong race against Democratic Rep. Chris Murphy for the seat being vacated by independent Sen. Joe Lieberman.

The presidential contest is also providing plenty of fodder for congressional campaigns ? and not just in the frequent attacks that Republicans make on Obama and Democrats launch against Romney.

In a play for moderate Virginia voters, Kaine uses one TV spot to position himself between Allen and Obama. The ad states Obama's preference to block a renewal of decade-old tax cuts on income exceeding $250,000, and Allen's insistence ? shared by most Republicans ? on extending the reductions for all.

"There's a middle ground. Let the tax cuts expire for those earning over $500,000," Kaine tells the camera, calling it "the fiscally responsible thing to do."

In an Indiana ad, Senate Democratic hopeful Rep. Joe Donnelly attacks his GOP rival, tea party favorite Richard Mourdock, using presidential debate footage of Romney saying he got little done as Massachusetts governor "by saying it's my way or the highway." Mourdock "is all about my way or the highway," the ad says.

And in a Wisconsin Senate debate last week, GOP candidate Tommy Thompson distanced himself from the House-passed budget written by Rep. Paul Ryan, the Republican vice presidential candidate. His rival, Democratic Rep. Tammy Baldwin, repeatedly linked him to the blueprint that she argued would raise taxes on the middle class.

"You're absolutely wrong," Thompson told Baldwin. "I have a plan completely different from Paul Ryan."

Meanwhile, spending has continued to accelerate on congressional races by both political parties and outside groups, including Crossroads GPS backed by former White House GOP strategist Karl Rove and unions such as the SEIU.

According to the nonpartisan Sunlight Foundation, which monitors campaign spending, outside groups have spent $161 million since June 1 on House races and $156 million on Senate races, with Republicans benefiting from a modest advantage.

But that spending has accelerated in recent days, especially on the GOP side, the foundation found.

In the week ending last Friday, groups have spent $13 million to help House Democratic candidates and $22 million for House Republicans. Senate Democratic hopefuls have benefited from $6 million, Senate Republicans from $10 million.

In one instance, an obscure conservative group, the Government Integrity Fund Action Network, spent $1.1 million for an ad attacking Democrat Elizabeth Esty, who is seeking an open House seat in Connecticut. That is a huge expenditure for a House race.

The Senate Democratic campaign committee spent $1.6 million to advertise against Allen in Virginia.

___

Eds: AP reporter Donna Cassata contributed to this story from Wausau, Wis., and Julie Carr Smyth contributed from Columbus, Ohio.

Associated Press

Source: http://hosted2.ap.org/APDEFAULT/89ae8247abe8493fae24405546e9a1aa/Article_2012-10-21-US-Congress-State%20of%20Play/id-67827c238ed74a48888cfaa01754b671

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Profesional Resume Editing | Academic Writing | Editing ...

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I need a professional resume writer to edit a resume.

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You will need to provide samples of your work
You MUST NOT plagiarize. The resume will be checked against a resume database, and we will use plagiarizing software to detect any copying. If we find the slightest hint of plagiarizing you will not get paid, and you get a very negative review.

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Reputation Management Company: Building Positive Online ...

Reputation management is something that companies have recently grown very serious about. This online reputation management can be described as continuous cycle that they are refined and acted upon so that you are able to have a successful career via the internet. Obility makes the claims that their services include information monitoring, removal services, and ?explanation? which I assume to be the same good praises given as the Defend My Name site listed above, in efforts of pushing your bad comments out of the current search engine top lists. Google yourself to find out what the top search engine results are for your name. Rude conduct by staff or delays in handling customer complaints are other avenues for small things to blow up into a full blown crisis.

The use of internet marketing companies can be very helpful in this way. But for right now, negatives of any type are really challenging to obtain away from, Whether or not true, false or somewhere in between. reputation management is essential when you are looking to create an impression not only in the minds of your clients, but also your business counterparts. The internet is really a place where anything goes. There is a small population and there is interactions between the members are frequent.

Hiring a reputation management company will make the work even easier because it is done in the most proficient way. Click here to see this online reputation management site. These services are branded as an additional tool, which companies can utilize with the PR and advertising endeavors. The experts at Reputation Changer offer a variety of online reputation management options. A good corporate reputation can also result in some great talent.

By submitting your press release to 10 or more of these sites, you can bring in some serious traffic. This will actually work wonders to get the maximum number of visitors who in turn can be potential customers. Highlight the positives ? The online reputation company has to get in touch with your happy clients and associates to defend you. As long as you are checking the feed every once in awhile, you?ll stay on top of any mentions of your company name and be able to act in response, possibly with a thank you or with follow-up inquiries to help correct confusion or distress about your company. Reputation Accelerator Rocks!!!

All I can say is that I am shocked and I?m betting that any employer would think twice about hiring someone based on this version of their ?brand?. At the first conference in 1996 in New York the discussion was about the concept of reputation. Regarding the World wide web, things will always be changing, with latest technologies and challenges surfacing each day, you ought to tread carefully as well as watch your internet reputation to stay ahead of your competition. Bringing back the good name that a person once hand would never be difficult when this kind of service is used. Including a website URL within the signature of forum posts is a perfect example of online reputation management as it promotes the individual and his/her business.

Plus, it would grow to be really hard for your competitors? to even give a slight jerk for your reputation on net. Finally you need to look at the aspect of much it will cost you to maintain your great reputation. At other times, senior management themselves can cause an issue for a company by indiscretions or causing outrages by public pronouncements. A reactive campaign is employed when a company wants an internet clean up. So, you didn?t go to that party?

IRM Consultants is an online reputation management site. Today a person has less control over what is said about them than ever. One of the main activities that takes place during a successful reputation management campaign is the building of inbound links to the website or web page of the company under attack. It is not enough that the most senior management are simply aware of your reputation management strategy and planning. Approaching the year 2000 the field became further defined and the focus became ?if and how reputation can be measured?.

More than 40 million people subscribe to online dating services, and millions of those subscribers develop intimate, albeit virtual relationships with anonymous strangers. Keeping that in mind, having a good reputation and presence on the internet is vital; especially, if you are looking to increase profits. iovation is one such company that has blocked 35 million fraudulent transactions of this sort just last year. Do you like any person interfering in your personal matters, in real life? If this seems overwhelming at first, Beal recommended to pick one that is best suited to your needs and master it before moving on.

The rising popularity of a company may instigate its competitors to launch some negative campaign against the company. Click here to see this online reputation management site. Companies that choose to manage this project in-house will need to create a list of directories and review policies and procedures of each. This Web site is a must-read no matter what reputation clean-up service you intend to use. We really need to understand what is brand reputation and why you need to track it.

They monitor all of the contents of your web page and evaluate its effect on the public view. Receiving feedback for your service is important.
online reputation management services

Source: http://cannabismrsacure.letstalkaboutpot.com/reputation-management-company-building-positive-online-reputation/

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Islamists shoot in air to disperse protest by Timbuktu women

BAMAKO (Reuters) - More than 100 women marched against the imposition of strict Islamic law in the northern Malian town of Timbuktu on Saturday, but were dispersed by gunmen linked to al Qaeda firing shots in the air, witnesses said.

Islamists linked to al Qaeda's North African wing, AQIM, have been in control of the fabled desert town since April and have steadily imposed their interpretation of sharia law, banning music and forcing women to cover themselves with veils.

Women gathered in the main square late morning and were due to march around the town but they were stopped by gunfire.

"Life has become more and more difficult with these people," Cisse Toure, one of the protesters, told Reuters by telephone.

"We are tired. They impose veils on us and now they are hunting us like bandits for not wearing them," she added.

Estimates for the number of women who took part ranged from 100-300.

Sanda Ould Bounama, a spokesman for the Islamists confirmed a protest had taken place but was not able to give any further details.

Islamist group Ansar Dine is officially in charge of the town but the group has maintained close links with AQIM since a mix of secular and Islamist gunmen routed Malian government forces, seizing the north of the country six months ago.

The Islamists have since defeated the secular Tuareg rebels and are in full control of the desert zone.

They have been imposing strict Islamic law, including the amputation of limbs of suspected criminals, sparking localised protests by a population that has long practise a more tolerant brand of Islam.

Source: http://news.yahoo.com/islamists-shoot-air-disperse-protest-timbuktu-women-091212131.html

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UnitedHealth plans overseas growth with $4.9B deal

UnitedHealth Group Inc. will spend about $4.9 billion to buy a majority stake in a Brazilian health benefits and care provider, as the largest U.S. health insurer leaps into an international market it says is primed for growth.

UnitedHealth, based in Minnetonka, Minn., said Monday that it will pay cash for about 90 percent of the outstanding shares of Amil Participacoes SA. The Brazilian company provides health and dental benefits and runs a care delivery network that includes 22 hospitals, about 50 clinics. It serves more than 5 million people.

UnitedHealth currently operates in 70 countries, and its services include expatriate coverage for people living outside their home countries. But company spokesman Don Nathan said it had only a "very small" presence in Brazil before this deal.

The insurer's international operations also represent a relatively minor slice of UnitedHealth's total business, which is largely focused in the United States. UnitedHealth revenue totaled $101.9 billion last year. Nathan declined to say how much of that came from international markets.

UnitedHealth and competitors like Cigna Corp. have pushed to increase their international operations in recent years, as enrollment growth in the U.S. market slowed while the economy stalled. U.S. pharmaceutical companies also have labeled countries like Brazil as sources for future revenue growth as they face patent expirations for key products in their home markets.

UnitedHealth said about 78 percent of the U.S. market is covered by private health insurance. In contrast, only 25 percent of Brazil's population of 200 million people has such coverage, and only 9 percent of the market has dental benefits, statistics that leave room for growth.

UnitedHealth also said Brazil, which has the world's sixth largest economy, is promoting private sector care to relieve pressure on its publicly funded system.

"Its growing economy, emerging middle class and progressive policies toward managed care make it a high potential growth market," UnitedHealth CEO Stephen J. Hemsley said in a statement from the insurer.

Amil Participacoes, which is publicly traded in Brazil, earned $88 million on $4.45 billion in revenue last year.

UnitedHealth said it will buy about 60 percent of the Brazilian company's outstanding shares from controlling shareholders and management after receiving approval from Brazilian regulators, which it expects in the fourth quarter. It will then buy about 30 percent of the shares from public stockholders in the first half of 2013.

The purchase price drops to $4.3 billion when counting Brazilian tax benefits.

Amil's founder, Dr. Edson Bueno, and his partner, Dr. Dulce Pugliese, will retain the remaining 10 percent of the company's stock for at least five years. UnitedHealth then has an option to buy that remaining stake.

Bueno said in a statement the deal "will enable us to bring advanced technology, a tradition of practical innovation, service initiatives and clinical programs to further strengthen health care in Brazil."

UnitedHealth also said Monday it expects third-quarter earnings to be at least $1.45 per share. That trumps analysts' expectations for earnings of $1.25 per share, according to a FactSet survey.

The insurer, which routinely tops Wall Street's quarterly expectations, will release the rest of its results Oct. 16.

UnitedHealth shares climbed 59 cents to $57.72 in premarket trading Monday. Its shares have slipped since hitting a 52-week high of $60.75 on June 19. They traded as low as $42.86 last October.

Associated Press

Source: http://hosted2.ap.org/APDEFAULT/f70471f764144b2fab526d39972d37b3/Article_2012-10-08-UnitedHealth-Brazilian%20Acquisition/id-d8adcb404564460f8c5592d4f8a207f0

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